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CRUSHING LOSESVANCOUVER, BC – Kim Campbell ragged on journalists and news readers who flashed their ankles, “It’s undignified,” “the men were at least wearing long socks,” she went on to say.
Campbell, the former forgotten Female PM, was just outraged that this porn was called news and said in her day they would tar and feather people for “such filth.”
Her former Reform Party competitor and Libertarian, Ian Isbister, fainted when the issue was mentioned.
When a news producer, Miss Soji Nee was asked, she stated her station’s official stance was, “That since the 1940s policy had changed, as the laws didn’t find anything sexual anymore about ankles.”

French
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Cheville indigne: Kim Campbell
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CRUSHING LOSESVANCOUVER (C.-B.) – Kim Campbell a dénoncé les journalistes et les lecteurs de nouvelles qui lui ont montré des chevilles: «C’est indigne», «les hommes portaient au moins de longues chaussettes», a-t-elle ajouté.
Campbell, l’ancien Premier ministre oublié, était tout simplement indigné que ce porno a été appelé nouvelles et a dit dans son jour qu’ils goudronneraient et plumeraient les gens pour “une telle saleté”.
Son ancien concurrent du Parti réformiste et libertarien, Ian Isbister, s’est évanoui lorsque le problème a été mentionné.
Lorsqu’on a demandé à une productrice de nouvelles, Mlle Soji Nee, elle a déclaré que la position officielle de sa station était: «Depuis les années 1940, la politique avait changé, car les lois ne trouvaient plus rien de sexuel au sujet des chevilles.

Hungarian
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A bokák tisztességtelen: Kim Campbell
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Kimászó veszteség – VANCOUVER, BC – Kim Campbell az újságírók és a hírlistaikkal szemben, akik a bokájukat villanták fel: “Tiszteletlen”, “a férfiak legalább hosszú zoknit viseltek” – folytatta.
Campbell, az egykori elfelejtett női főnök, felháborodott, hogy ez a pornó hír volt, és azt mondta a napjában, hogy kátrányozni fognak és az embereket “ilyen mocskot” fogják.
A volt reformpárt versenyzője és a libertariánus, Ian Isbister elájult, amikor a kérdést megemlítették.
Amikor egy újságíró, Miss Soji Nee-t megkérdezték, azt állította, hogy az állomás hivatalos álláspontja az volt, hogy “az 1940-es évek óta megváltozott a politikája, mivel a törvények többé nem találták szexuálisan a bokákat”.

Dutch
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Enkels Onwaardig: Kim Campbell
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VERDUISTERENDE VERLIEZENVANCOUVER, BC – Kim Campbell wankelde over journalisten en nieuwslezers die hun enkels flitsten, “Het is niet waardig”, “de mannen droegen op zijn minst lange sokken”, vervolgde ze.
Campbell, de voormalige vergeten vrouwelijke premier, was gewoon verontwaardigd dat deze porno nieuws heette en zei in haar tijd dat ze mensen te veel zouden opdienen en vervloeken vanwege ‘dergelijke vuiligheid’.
Haar voormalige partij van de Reformatie, Libertarian en Ian Isbister, viel flauw toen het probleem werd genoemd.
Toen een nieuwsproducent, Miss Soji Nee, werd gevraagd, zei ze dat de officiële houding van haar station was: “Dat beleid sinds de jaren veertig was veranderd, omdat de wetten niets seksueel meer vonden over enkels.”

*First multi-lingual Satire article.

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Categories Comedy, Freedom

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I will pout as long as the world lasts or the Liberals bow down to me, said the NDP Leader. “It’s my turn, damn it, my turn mommy, it’s mine,” Mr Horgan said while having his diaper changed.
“I demand to have the power,” he said. going (and on), “don’t my tears count as anything?”
“I will hold my breath and pout, I shall control BC, not the Liberals under any leader, or turn blue….” he went on, making the reporter’s stringer wish he learned how to hold it.
“Sure he’s infantile,” said the BC Greens Leader, “but he is still denying our independence if it says it stops Christy Clarke, despite not…hmmm…”
He had no position on pouting saying it’s going to be discussed at the next AGM if there is a BC Green Party still.

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PRETENDVILLE, STEAM – After years, decades and multiple tours and kills and re-spawning due to death and injury a middle aged man demands respect.
“I deserve a purple heart,” he yelled being turned down health treatment at the Veteran’s Hospital. “I put my life on the line for my country!” he said with a straight face.
George Nehrjok claimed the other day “It wasn’t playing plumber lost in toad stools.” “It was realism, it was adult.”
“If it weren’t for me, we’d suffer more terror attacks!” he shouted as the Vet refused to pay for his gaming seat bed soar. “This is how it is, your country demands your life, and you give it….” when questioning if he had a life to offer by this reporter he went off, “You weren’t there man! How never saw the frame rates I saw!” and quickly stormed off to start his campaign for Vice President in something by Altus.
The Veteran’s Hospital and Affairs Department were laughing too hard to provide a response.

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Categories Comedy, Funny

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DENHOGG, NED – Canada is more than thrilled to extradite a noted child exploiter in the name of Amanda Todd, but not why you may think.
After a few months time served Aydin Coban plans to start a production company with Swirl Face, “It’s always nice to see our Film Industry grow,” said head of the City Film Quango, “we need to replace Lucifer somehow, and this is closer to the real thing.”
The Canadian Paedophile Protection Agency’s the Rt. Honorable Esy Rolise said “They did their slap on the wrist so leave them alone.”
Canada is leading in countries moving to an instant forgiveness policy towards child rapists.

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Categories Comedy, Humor

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TOKYO, SWEEDEN – In a shocking reveal by Nintendo on Octorber 19th, 2016, Nintendo shocked the world of gaming and furnishings. Nintendo has made a deal with Ikea to exclusively release it’s new console “The Switch,” not to be confused with the crime based board game about Governor Jeb Bush.
It will come using detachable parts, easily separated by an Alan Key and no bothersome secondary screen. Sony is outraged, “we wanted to release the Lego Vita, and they beat us to it,” said Yudomi Inarectim, CEO of Sony Entertainment and White Van Pornography.
Ikea’s CEO was in the middle of a annual suicide and could not make a statement.
Nintendo had a release stating “It was proud to have a new piece of useless furnishings of it’s own for Ikea.”
Will it succeed, I haven’t been bribed to give that opinion. But you can be sure, it will be on shelves somewhere.

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Categories Comedy, Funny

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